This gyro tastes like lonliness
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
