i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
