you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
