Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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