6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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