This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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