Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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