The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
