hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
