as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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