I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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