I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
