After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
