Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
