If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
