the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
