im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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