So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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