He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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