i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
