ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
