at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
