I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
