I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
