Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
