She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
