I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
