I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
