I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Alive.
So much puke
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
