Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
