Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
