maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
