somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
