Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
