I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize