Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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