dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
