i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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