Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
