Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
