You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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