The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
