Sry I called you an 8
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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