She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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