Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
