i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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