If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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