going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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