yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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