I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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